Relationships: Vertical, Horizontal, and Biblically Speaking
Relationships are the foundation of every living thing, and relationships come in all shapes and sizes. With different angles, different approaches, and depending on the magnitude and caliber of the relationship, different levels
Know this for certain; you have to have one, with emphasis being on the word ONE, vertical relationship that must be intact, and thus it will cause you to have good success in all your horizontal relationships .
This vertical relationship is with the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the ONE TRUE LIVING GOD of the Bible! If you get your relationship right with Him, all of your other relationships will work out just fine!
That does not mean that all of your relationships will be what most call good. It just means they will be managed in such a way that brings about peace for you and prayerfully, others
Proverbs 16:7 - When a man’s ways please the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
You don’t have to be in agreement with a person, or even their ways, but there will be peace among you and between you..
Therefore, simply stated, that means YOU will have to make some decisions.
The first decision being to be sure to please The Lord in your daily living. You can’t please Him if you don’t know Him. And you won’t know Him if you don’t know His word.
John 10:30 - I and my Father are one.
Just in case you don’t know or understand, Jesus is the Word of God made flesh, The Lord put His Word(s) into a human body and that human is name Jesus:
John 1:14 - And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth
Next, in your decision-making process concerning relationships, you will have to settle in your soul that not all relationships are:
for you,
and/or are not for you at this time,
or the time for the relationship has come to a conclusion.
Romans 16:17 - Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them.
James 3:16 - For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there
Ecclesiastes 3:1 - To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:
Every relationship under the heavens, and on this earth, for mankind has to have a foundation of love.
Agape - Selfless Love (John 3:16 – for God, so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.)
Philia- Comradely friendship (Samuel 18:1 - now when he has finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan, wasn’t it to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul).
Eros - Sexual Passion (Song of Solomon 1:4 – draw me away! We will run after you. The Shula might the king has brought me into his chambers. The daughters of Jerusalem we will be glad and rejoice in you. We will remember your love.)
The Bible is clear that we should at some point in our lifetime have a solid placement into all three categories of love. If not, stop and pray at this very moment because something is critically wrong in your life.
Father, mother, brother, sister, niece, nephew, uncle, aunt, husband, wife, friend, clergy, etc. with whomever; your relationships should both give and receive agape, philia, or Eros. And quite frankly, you will truly not have a solid philia or Eros relationship if you do not first have the agape relationship with your heavenly Father.
You see the One True Living God, that is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, is love. And until the fall of mankind through disobedience of ONE man, Adam
Romans 5:19 - For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man’s obedience many will be made righteous
there was once upon a time perfect love on the Earth. The God kind of love.
But the enemy, the one the Bible calls our adversary, Satan and the kingdom of darkness, came in and deceived Adam and caused a breach in the relationship between God and man. And now he gets in relationships and wreaks havoc. And most just learn to adapt to and accept dysfunctional situations and relationships as their normal. Beloveds, read your Bible, that mindset is not scriptural.
And because the adversary is let in, he comes into relationships and brings his buddies named strife, jealousy, envy, hatred, bitterness, deception, lies, etc. Everything that is ungodly that leads to a toxic relationship. Those toxic and dysfunctional relationships the adversary brings into relationships is all designed to keep you from your one vertical relationship with your Creator, El Elohim, the One True Living God.
This in turn causes the focus to to be on the horizontal relationships, that is, those relationships around you with others here on earth, so much so that you are too distracted to cultivate that one vertical relationship with your Heavenly Father, and ultimately you seek not to have relationship with our Heavenly Father because your toxic relationships absorb all of your time and your focus.
Further, you tolerate the toxic relationship because you have been taught to do so, otherwise you are not living the “Christian way”. Yes, there are those who proclaim to be saved and literally cause “hell” on earth in their lives as well as in the lives of others, all the while proclaiming: “God knows my heart“, “you don’t know me”, or “you’re judging me”, and of course the infamous“pray for me, I’m not there yet“, but the Scriptures are clear.
Matthew 7:16 - You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.
So one can say, what they are, or are not, but the Scriptures tell us all we have to do is watch their deeds and actions, and we will know for certain, if this is a relationship that we need to pursue, or would even want to pursue for that matter.
Therefore, not only is it lawful, but the scriptures encourage us, no matter who it is, once you choose salvation and the path that leads to righteousness, walk away from them that will steal your peace and/or cause you to sin. (Now of course, there are stipulations to just how and when you walk away, because in some cases, your life my lead them to Christ. It is important to pray about these matters.)
Mark 10:29-30 - 29 And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's,
30 But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.
So although you will be persecuted for your choice to walk away from ungodly relationships, you will receive your reward both here on Earth and in Heaven. The Lord knows that there are those we must put some space and distance between us and them. If the relationship is ungodly and disturbs your peace and threatens your salvation, you know the song lyrics, “ these boots are made for walking, and that’s just what I’ll do…“ Walk away, and don’t feel guilty or bad about it. We were not put on this earth to abuse anyone, or for anyone to abuse us. That’s a no - no relationship with The Lord.
Here are a few points on what constitutes a godly relationship. We should ask ourselves the following two questions for starters:
Am I capable of being in a godly or Christ-like relationship?
Am I a godly example for someone or are they a godly example for me?
Does my “love” relationship bring peace and joy or hurt and harm?
Are my relationships burdensome to others or am I a ‘breath of fresh air’ because I “add” to their lives?
Godly relationships are selfless. THAT bares repeating, GODLY RELATIONSHIPS, ARE SELFLESS!
If you are always on YOUR own mind, a good friend, a good spouse, or a trustworthy person is NOT who you are! You are self-centered and that is a form of pride. Pride is never a good thing for anyone.
Godly relationships are reflective. You will reflect Christ-like traits and characteristics.
James 1:22 - Be doers of the Word, not hearers only.
Proverbs 18:24 – a man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
1 Corinthians 15:33 – do not be deceived: “evil company, corrupts, good habits”.
2 Corinthians 6:14 - do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers for what fellowship as righteousness with lawlessness and what communion has light with darkness?
Take the time starting now, and over the course of the next several days, to do a self-examination and see if you positive and affirming relationship material, not necessarily an Eros love or partnership-type relationship, even a friendship or a Familial relationship.
And do not be discouraged. If you failed the self-examination, the Blood of Jesus covers us all, and thankfully, when we are truly repentant, that means you have ask forgiveness and you no longer intentionally commit that sin, then He is faithful, and just to forgive us of our sins.
God bless you richly and abundantly!
In Jesus mighty and holy name!
Apostle and Prophetess Wendy Connor
(C) Copyright 2023 Wendy Connor
